is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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