I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
