Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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