there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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