I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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