And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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