Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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