i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
