I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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