Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize