he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
you didnt know i had herpes?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
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I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
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He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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