I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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