i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break