no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.