party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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