Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
