Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Fuck me I smell like cheese
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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