we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
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I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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