Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
