Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
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I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
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Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize