We're like a lot better than the average bears
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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