So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
