I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
