We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize