I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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