you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
