dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
