Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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