Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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