Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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