Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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