So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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