So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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