He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
