where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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