I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
