Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
