I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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