Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
