i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
