eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
