Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My bed smells like the plague
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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