I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
