I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize