I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
