I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
