That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
FUCK WHALES
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
