i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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