He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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