I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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