does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
