My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
