OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
