Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
