Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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