It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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