The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
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I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
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Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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