I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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