Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
So squirting runs in the family.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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