the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
