worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
