Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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