My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
