Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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