I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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