a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
