I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
