question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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