Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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