He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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